Friday, August 31, 2007

my new room

The sun creeps in
all tiptoes and giggles
playing a game of hide and seek
with the shadows

Dust from the curtains turns into a spray of butterflies
who flutter out the open window
and disappear into the cloud-speckled sky

From under the creeky floor boards pokes a tiny face of green

My room is sprouting!

Sunday, August 26, 2007

Friday, August 17, 2007

I cried at dinner time

I cried at dinner today
I very rarely cry
But I cried today
and guess I'm sort of proud of that

I used to envy those who let their tears flow
like glittering jewels from their eyes
to me it was noble
to me it was a beautiful act-
so raw and so true

But no matter what happened
my eyes remained dry
Even when I wanted so hard to cry
"One tear" I would pray, "just let one beautiful shining tear role down my cheek"

No matter how hard I blinked or squeezed my eyes,
Those stubborn tears did not fall.

Actually I do remember one time I cried
It was in the parking lot when my mom and another person backed their cars out at the same time and hit each other. No one was hurt, in fact it was only a scratch, but the guy began yelling at my mom. My mom told me to go and call my dad. When I asked for the phone I couldn't keep from bawling. When my dad answered the phone he probably thought my mom had died or something. I couldn't even speak I was crying so hard.

But that was a different sort of crying.

On the rare occasions that I do cry
I want to run and hide
I will do just about anything to get away
I panic

But today at dinner I experienced something new
I had no idea I was going to cry
My dad was just talking about how I was going to have to start supporting myself financially
Not fully, but more than I have in the past
And it all poured out
And I started to cry
I'm not exactly sure why,
I wasn't really that scared, worried, or mad or anything
It just got me really emotional
And I cried right then and there in front of my parents
I didn't get all mad at myself, in fact I felt really proud
Because although it didn't really make sense to me
The tears were real and sincere

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

The Matrix

I watched the Matrix today
I only have two words to say

Fucking Amazing