"Leave Krete and come to this holy temple
where the graceful grove of apple trees
circles an alter smoking with frankincense.

Here roses leave shadow on the ground
and cold springs bubble through apple branches
where shuddering leaves pour down profound sleep

In our meadow where horses graze
and wild flowers of spring blossom,
anise shoots fill the air with aroma.

And here, Queen Aphrodite, pour
heavenly nectar into gold cups
and fill them gracefully with sudden
joy."

-Sappho

heart of fire

I realized today
I have been asleep
for days,
perhaps weeks

But now I awaken
I breathe

In the museum today
I read;
"... and god breathed life into zombies"

I laid on the bench and listened
as breathing enveloped me,
filling the white room,
bouncing off the sharp walls
at slow angles

suddenly the breathing stopped,
a different rhythm began picking up pace

I sit up
there is fire within me
and I want to scream,
but I can't-
what if I scream and fire comes out?

then
people
might think
I am a dragon.

A Gradual Wearing Away of Stone

windswept, she speaks languages of stone
from deep mountain valleys rimmed with stone.

red dust covers cracked thirsty earth as
thin boys seek water in crumbling stone.

sun swings high then low, it touches down
making shadows and circles with stone.

hopi prophecy tells of an end
when illusions will ride rivers of stone.

soon grandmother will feed hungry men
with a hearty broth thickened by stones.

as sleep hits heavy eyes we will dream
of dark tunnels and chambers made of stone.

moon, remind us of our ancestors
who shake the ground with heartbeats of stone.

aching blue glaciers thaw into dust
carving ashen sinews in white limestone.

a sickening crack of breaking bone
and from the core rises molten stone.

constant floods of muddy water transform
jagged rocks into smooth river stones.

snakes shift sideways to reveal her eyes
and with a piercing gaze you become stone.

caged by labyrinths of serpentine brick
dwell secrets entombed in vaults of stone.

ear to the ground I listen for signs
quietly rumbling like a landslide of stone.

Marina and Sahara

Letter To A Young Activist During Troubled Times

By Clarissa Pinkola Estés Ph.D.

Do not lose heart. We were made for these times.

I have heard from so many recently who are deeply and properly bewildered. They are concerned about the state of affairs in our world right now. It is true, one has to have strong cojones and ovarios to withstand much of what passes for "good" in our culture today. Abject disregard of what the soul finds most precious and irreplaceable and the corruption of principled ideals have become, in some large societal arenas, "the new normal," the grotesquerie of the week. It is hard to say which one of the current egregious matters has rocked people's worlds and beliefs more. Ours is a time of almost daily jaw-dropping astonishment and often righteous rage over the latest degradations of what matters most to civilized, visionary people.

…You are right in your assessments. The lustre and hubris some have aspired to while endorsing acts so heinous against children, elders, everyday people, the poor, the unguarded, the helpless, is breathtaking. Yet ... I urge you, ask you, gentle you, to please not spend your spirit dry by bewailing these difficult times. Especially do not lose hope. Most particularly because, the fact is — we were made for these times. Yes. For years, we have been learning, practicing, been in training for and just waiting to meet on this exact plain of engagement. I cannot tell you often enough that we are definitely the leaders we have been waiting for, and that we have been raised since childhood for this time precisely.

…I grew up on the Great Lakes and recognize a seaworthy vessel when I see one. Regarding awakened souls, there have never been more able crafts in the waters than there are right now across the world. And they are fully provisioned and able to signal one another as never before in the history of humankind. I would like to take your hands for a moment and assure you that you are built well for these times. Despite your stints of doubt, your frustrations in arighting all that needs change right now, or even feeling you have lost the map entirely, you are not without resource, you are not alone. Look out over the prow; there are millions of boats of righteous souls on the waters with you. In your deepest bones, you have always known this is so. Even though your veneers may shiver from every wave in this stormy roil, I assure you that the long timbers composing your prow and rudder come from a greater forest. That long-grained lumber is known to withstand storms, to hold together, to hold its own, and to advance, regardless.

…We have been in training for a dark time such as this, since the day we assented to come to Earth. For many decades, worldwide, souls just like us have been felled and left for dead in so many ways over and over – brought down by naiveté, by lack of love, by suddenly realizing one deadly thing or another, by not realizing something else soon enough, by being ambushed and assaulted by various cultural and personal shocks in the extreme. We have a history of being gutted, and yet remember this especially … we have also, of necessity, perfected the knack of resurrection. Over and over again we have been the living proof that that which has been exiled, lost, or foundered – can be restored to life again. This is as true and sturdy a prognosis for the destroyed worlds around us as it was for our own once mortally wounded selves.

…Though we are not invulnerable, our risibility supports us to laugh in the face of cynics who say "fat chance," and "management before mercy," and other evidences of complete absence of soul sense. This, and our having been to Hell and back on at least one momentous occasion, makes us seasoned vessels for certain. Even if you do not feel that you are, you are. Even if your puny little ego wants to contest the enormity of your soul, that smaller self can never for long subordinate the larger Self. In matters of death and rebirth, you have surpassed the benchmarks many times. Believe the evidence of any one of your past testings and trials. Here it is: Are you still standing? The answer is, Yes! (And no adverbs like "barely" are allowed here). If you are still standing, ragged flags or no, you are able. Thus, you have passed the bar. And even raised it. You are seaworthy.

…In any dark time, there is a tendency to veer toward fainting over how much is wrong or unmended in the world. Do not focus on that. Do not make yourself ill with overwhelm. There is a tendency too to fall into being weakened by perseverating on what is outside your reach, by what cannot yet be. Do not focus there. That is spending the wind without raising the sails. We are needed, that is all we can know. And though we meet resistance, we more so will meet great souls who will hail us, love us and guide us, and we will know them when they appear. Didn't you say you were a believer? Didn't you say you pledged to listen to a voice greater? Didn't you ask for grace? Don't you remember that to be in grace means to submit to the voice greater? You have all the resource you need to ride any wave, to surface from any trough.

…In the language of aviators and sailors, ours is to sail forward now, all balls out. Understand the paradox: If you study the physics of a waterspout, you will see that the outer vortex whirls far more quickly than the inner one. To calm the storm means to quiet the outer layer, to cause it, by whatever countervailing means, to swirl much less, to more evenly match the velocity of the inner, far less volatile core – till whatever has been lifted into such a vicious funnel falls back to Earth, lays down, is peaceable again. One of the most important steps you can take to help calm the storm is to not allow yourself to be taken in a flurry of overwrought emotion or despair — thereby accidentally contributing to the swale and the swirl. Ours is not the task of fixing the entire world all at once, but of stretching out to mend the part of the world that is within our reach. Any small, calm thing that one soul can do to help another soul, to assist some portion of this poor suffering world, will help immensely. It is not given to us to know which acts or by whom, will cause the critical mass to tip toward an enduring good. What is needed for dramatic change is an accumulation of acts — adding, adding to, adding more, continuing. We know that it does not take "everyone on Earth" to bring justice and peace, but only a small, determined group who will not give up during the first, second, or hundredth gale.

…One of the most calming and powerful actions you can do to intervene in a stormy world is to stand up and show your soul. Soul on deck shines like gold in dark times. The light of the soul throws sparks, can send up flares, builds signal fires ... causes proper matters to catch fire. To display the lantern of soul in shadowy times like these — to be fierce and to show mercy toward others, both – are acts of immense bravery and greatest necessity. Struggling souls catch light from other souls who are fully lit and willing to show it. If you would help to calm the tumult, this is one of the strongest things you can do.

…There will always be times in the midst of "success right around the corner, but as yet still unseen" when you feel discouraged. I too have felt despair many times in my life, but I do not keep a chair for it; I will not entertain it. It is not allowed to eat from my plate. The reason is this: In my uttermost bones I know something, as do you. It is that there can be no despair when you remember why you came to Earth, who you serve, and who sent you here. The good words we say and the good deeds we do are not ours: They are the words and deeds of the One who brought us here. In that spirit, I hope you will write this on your wall: When a great ship is in harbor and moored, it is safe, there can be no doubt. But … that is not what great ships are built for.

…This comes with much love and prayer that you remember who you came from, and why you came to this beautiful, needful Earth,

Clarissa Pinkola Estés

©2003 C.P. Estés, All rights reserved.

Tune In

Cradle to Cradle

"Ask: How can we support and perpetuate the rights of all living things to share in a world of abundance? How can we love the children of all species- not just our own- for all of time? Imagine what a world of prosperity and health in the future will looki like, and begin designing for it right now. What would it mean to become, once again, a native to this place, the Earth- the home of all our relations? This is going to take us all..."

from the book Cradle to Cradle by William McDonough and Michael Braungart

21!!!

My 21st was glorious. The festivities lasted for 3 days. On the 24th I had my show in Oakland. My dad, Callie, and John came with me and after the show we went to my favorite restaurant ever- House of Curry in Oakland. When I lived in Oakland last year, I used to go there all the time with Annie and her roomates. We had all sorts of good conversations about life there. After Dinner we walked down the block to get desert at this little Icecream shop called Ici. They use local fruits that are in season so they had flavors like persimmon, bay laurel, and pine nut prailine. I tried the Persimmon and it was a symphony in my mouth.

The next day was my actual birthday and Annie, Rachael and they treated me to dinner at Citizen Cake. Amazing meal. The waiter was really nice too and brought us wine to taste and some birthday appetizers. Lovely evening! After dinner we went to a bar near my house and did some dancing.

Then the next day on the 26th, Annie and Rachael hosted a party for me at their house. Full moon + good friends+ drinks= good times!!! It was a rager! we had so much fun. Everyone seemed so happy to be there. My friends dressed me up in a green cocktail dress and I had a fair share of gin and tonics. The next morning Rachael, Annie, Elias and I went to Brunch at Brenda's, a Cajun restaurant in the Tenderloin. We had to wait for about an hour to get a seat, but it was well worth it. Amazing food once again. By the time we left we could hardly move.

Such a memorable 21st! Thanks to my wonderful friends it was glorious.

21!!!

All my relations

At Vision Quest camp this year I caught the ball at the catching of the ball ceremony.
I caught the ball for all my relations. For everything that is around me. The elements, animals, plants, mother earth, father sky, all the people of the world-
All my relations
May I learn from all my relations, may I help all my relations, may I speak for the truth.

This weekend I went to the bioneers conference in Marin.
I went 6 years ago for the first time. That was back when I was shy and didn't speak up. Remembering Julia Butterfly Hill, who was my role model telling me to say something. And my heart thump thumping, my voice bottled up. THere in the youth tent 6 years ago I saw the powerful youth around me. With passion and courage and I decided I would one day be able to speak my truth. This year I returned as a youth, a bridge, and a citizen of earth and the universe. I was engaged.
I helped host one of the grandmothers from the council of 13 indigenous grandmothers. Her name is Maria Alice and she is from the Amazon. It was wonderful. Of course I was really busy- so busy in fact that it's just now starting to soak in. But it's soaking in and it's nourishing my soul!

What I love about studying architecture is that I begin to experience all sorts of coincidences. Things connect and weave together and I begin to see signs where ever I go. Suddenly I'm the explorer, the detective. What's hidden below the surface emerges and ideas flow as I listen to the call of a place.

It is a spiritual process.

I am currently exploring a site called the Sutro Baths. It is a stunning cove that faces the "Coast of the Sundown Sea" as it was known to native tribes who inhabited the area. Around 1894 a man named Adolph Sutro who would later become mayor of San Francisco built a large structure with various pools for the public of San Francisco. The baths drew people from all over San Francisco to the "Outlands" to enjoy the outdoors. In 1966 after it closed, Sutro Baths burned down. All that remains today are ruins; old concrete skeletons, weathered by the salty air. The Park service now owns the land and they are trying to allow native species to create their habitats there. This beautiful white bird was following me around as I was taking pictures.

my new room

The sun creeps in
all tiptoes and giggles
playing a game of hide and seek
with the shadows

Dust from the curtains turns into a spray of butterflies
who flutter out the open window
and disappear into the cloud-speckled sky

From under the creeky floor boards pokes a tiny face of green

My room is sprouting!

Masquerade

I cried at dinner time

I cried at dinner today
I very rarely cry
But I cried today
and guess I'm sort of proud of that

I used to envy those who let their tears flow
like glittering jewels from their eyes
to me it was noble
to me it was a beautiful act-
so raw and so true

But no matter what happened
my eyes remained dry
Even when I wanted so hard to cry
"One tear" I would pray, "just let one beautiful shining tear role down my cheek"

No matter how hard I blinked or squeezed my eyes,
Those stubborn tears did not fall.

Actually I do remember one time I cried
It was in the parking lot when my mom and another person backed their cars out at the same time and hit each other. No one was hurt, in fact it was only a scratch, but the guy began yelling at my mom. My mom told me to go and call my dad. When I asked for the phone I couldn't keep from bawling. When my dad answered the phone he probably thought my mom had died or something. I couldn't even speak I was crying so hard.

But that was a different sort of crying.

On the rare occasions that I do cry
I want to run and hide
I will do just about anything to get away
I panic

But today at dinner I experienced something new
I had no idea I was going to cry
My dad was just talking about how I was going to have to start supporting myself financially
Not fully, but more than I have in the past
And it all poured out
And I started to cry
I'm not exactly sure why,
I wasn't really that scared, worried, or mad or anything
It just got me really emotional
And I cried right then and there in front of my parents
I didn't get all mad at myself, in fact I felt really proud
Because although it didn't really make sense to me
The tears were real and sincere

The Matrix

I watched the Matrix today
I only have two words to say

Fucking Amazing

Hanblecheyapi

In Lakota tradition Hanblecheyapi means "crying for a vision"
Last week I went to a Vision Quest Camp near Croyden, Utah. It wasn't my first time going, in fact I have been to this camp 3 summers before. But It's been 2 years since I've been back. Last summer I had to work, so I didn't get to go. But this summer I was determined. Learning about the importance and harmony of native Brazilian traditions during the School of Warriors without Weapons revitalized my interest in the Native American teachings and ways.

The week was incredible!!! filled with so many gifts, songs, prayers, and blessings. It was packed full to the brim and I learned so much about myself, the world, and those around me. Most importantly I learned about the power of prayer, especially group prayer. I learned that by helping others to heal, I also heal myself. I learned that I am not alone.

And so I thank you everyone who helped make the week so marvelous. The youth, the elders, the joy, staying up by the fire, watching the stars, watching the sun come up, calling the thunder, storytelling, picking sage in the storm, admiring the rainbow, drumming, jamming that last night, firing of the grid Lodge, Diane's good-time lodge, card-reading party... so many good times!

Namaste

I honor the place in you in which the entire universe dwells. I honor the place in you which is of love, of truth, of light and of peace. When you are in that place in you, and I am in that place in me, we are one.

Namaste

Abundant Bloom

Life is a Trickster, but I guess it's more exciting that way

So I thought I had my summer all planned out. I was going to come home from Greece and find an architecture internship and make lots of money. I guess there were other plans in store for me. I applied to various different firms, spiced up my resume, and even created a portfolio. But no, nothing worked out. No one needed help, not even my old boss. I was seriously down for a while. What was I going to do? What was wrong with me?

And then it hit me; RELAX.
During the school year I don't even have time to breath or eat right.
Suddenly I have time to take care of my body; to actually enjoy my senses
to enjoy this period of freedom where I can stay up and become part of the summer nights

So I'm trying to not feel too guilty about not having a real summer job
I'm trying to trust this balance and flow in my life.
Trust that it will all be OK

I work some shifts at Dancing Cranes, an import store owned by family friends
I do Yoga
I eat fresh raw foods
I take care of my body
I make things and paint things
I'm going to start pottery classes soon
I'm doing a vision quest next week
I hang out with friends and ride my bike across the city
I stay up late

I take my time and enjoy myself
And I'm grateful for the unexpected turn of events.

Life is a trickster, but I guess it's more exciting that way.

*The image above is a lotus flower I painted to make greeting cards. I will be printing it along with three others within the next few days. If you would like to support my summer freedom and creativity cause by purchasing some greeting cards, please let me know. It would be greatly appreciated :)

Namaste

Ode to Summer Nights

Summer nights
what a glory to the senses
the lazy street lamps cast down a hazy glow
creating dandelion tufts of faded orange orbs
sickened and pale in comparison
to the radiant moon

As I ride down empty streets
The breeze brushes my skin
like cool silk

Sleepy houses sigh,
each releasing an aroma
that glides past me
as I fly silently through the pulsing darkness

I try to grasp these smells
but they merely slip away
like fine sand through my fingers;
glimpses into the lives of the dreaming houses;

a fleeting odor of stale cigarette butts
a hint of pungent jasmine
a fluttering scent of clean laundry

Oh summer nights
swelling with the silence of a quivering calm
sweet as honey-dew melon
growing pregnant as the milky moon
I am a firefly passionately in bliss
with your cool and serene sprinkler kiss!

Spiral Jetty!

Txucarramãe

“On the warrior’s path, it is up to you to discern which threads have been woven by divine hands and which have been woven by human hands. When you begin to discern the difference, you become a Txucarramãe -- a warrior without weapons. Threads woven by human hands are alive with traces of their spirit. These hands create all kinds of things. Our hands and thoughts create many things to defend ourselves from the external world. When you discover what you have been doing with your life and how it is you dance through the world, little by little you let go of your weapons, those creations made to kill creations. Suddenly, you discover that when we stop creating enemies, we extinguish the need for weapons.”

(Kaká Werá Jecupé)

Journey to Makrinitsa

Our Journey to Makrinitsa was quite exciting! We left Axladitsa with light hearts and spirits ready for adventure. Packing 8 people into the small car and 14 people into the van, we learned various songs on the 2 hour ride through the beautiful Pelion countryside. It is said that the Pelion Peninsula was once inhabited by the centaurs. As I looked out the window my imagination began to wander...

We stopped along the way to take a breath of fresh air and enjoy a snack of cookies and icecream. yumm.

Continuing through Volos we began a steep incline up a windy mountain road. Here the trees got more dense and the scenery was quite lush. Every now and again we would spot the view of Volos and the Pagastikos Gulf below us. They grew smaller and smaller as we climbed and climbed and climbed.

We stopped at the village of Portaria for lunch where we sat under a huge 800-year-old tree. Shammi bought loquats to share. Melissa's bag almost got stolen by a playful dog. I guess he thought it might be a fun toy so he snatched it right off the chair. We all ate wonderfully delicious meals. I can almost remember it perfectly. I had a vegetable pie that was rich with many herbs between a filo crust. Afterwards we were so satisfied we could hardly move. Shammi gave the owner of the restaurants some earrings and in return she gave him a CD of local music which we listened to on the rest of the way to Makrinitsa. It sounded like woodland music with its soft flute rhythms

Makrinitsa's houses looked as if they were clinging to the mountainside for dear life. It amazed me that they didn't all just tumble down the slope and crash into Volos. But there they were with their stone rooves and white walls, soaking up the sun and watching the blue water stretch into forever and become the blue sky.

We were glad to finally arrive in Makrinitsa. There were no cars allowed in the main area so we all piled out of the cars and explored this quaint village that is also known as the balcony of Pelion. Sakhi, Annie, Melissa and I decided to wander away from the touristic strip along some narrow cobbled pathways that wound around the houses and neighborhoods. We met many old ladies taking a stroll whose faces would light up when we greeted them by saying "Kalispera" (I think that means good afternoon). Soon enough it was time to leave and we met the others back on the main road. We had not seen the main square, so we ran back to take a quick look around. It had a beautiful central area with a huge hollowed out tree, a water fountain, and a Shrine. It was breathtaking!

Finally it was time to say good-bye to dear Makrinitsa. Day turned to night and we were all exhausted but happy when we finally reached Axladitsa.

I would like to thank the drivers Susan and Bob for making this great journey possible!!!

Sakhi's Blessing

Something stirs from deep within

Everything has its perfect time and perfect place
I trust the magic that makes me tingle
when I see majestic mountains
encircled in swirling mists
or feel ancient waters
like liquid light
awakening wisdoms within me


Inspired by Filiz and her experiences

I heard a whisper... 2006

I heard a whisper... 2006
Originally uploaded by arianemates